Yesterday could possibly have been the most terrifying day of my life. The day started out just as usual. Kennedy attended her abrakadoodle art class and loved it. She made a cute turkey out of model magic. I’ll post a picture of that later. After art class, we came home to mounds of laundry. This is where things went down hill rather fast. Kennedy was working on her letter to Santa at the coffee table and Nathan was sitting in his boppy on the floor. I had my back turned to Nathan folding laundry when he let out a blood curdling cry. This is a cry that I have never heard from him and I hope I never hear it again. I immediately turned to check on him as Kennedy ran for his Binky. She is such an attentive big sister! He began to cough violently until he was coughing up thick, thick mucous and blood. I grabbed his bulb syringe and suctioned his mouth and nose to try to clear his airway, and I checked his mouth to see if it was bleeding. Nathan’s lips and area around his mouth started turning blue and his breathing became really labored. In the medical field we call them retractions, but he was working so hard to breath his chest was sucking in between his ribs. His respirations were extremely shallow and fast. I didn’t know what else to do, but call 911. While I had him in my arms he turned pale as a ghost and grew increasingly unresponsive and rolled his eyeballs into the back of his head. I could no longer arouse him from unconsciousness. I was flicking the bottoms of his feet and rubbing his spine and chest to no avail. As a newborn ICU nurse I have seen my fair share (too many) of babies die. I seriously thought that my 6 week old baby boy was going to die right there and then in my arms. It took the ambulance 6 minutes 11 seconds to get there. However, it seemed like eternity if you ask me. The medics transported Nathan by ambulance to the Fort Walton ER. I was totally frustrated by our experience there and walked away feeling like I didn’t have any answers. They did a chest x-ray and CBC which both came back fairly normal. The doctor recommended that we follow up in the morning with a pediatrician (that in itself is another story for another day!!!), and stay up with him through the night to make sure that he didn’t have any further problems. They gave us a bogus diagnosis and sent us home without an apnea monitor or anything. Nathan continued with labored breathing for the first part of the night, which kept me worried. I had my baby stethoscope out listening to his heart and breath sounds about every ten minutes. Brian was such a good daddy and stayed up on watch all night, never leaving Nathan’s side and let me sleep except for one feeding. I was seriously traumatized and emotionally drained. Not that I slept well! I can’t express how truly horrible the experience was! Nathan seems to be doing better, but his coloring is still really bad and he definitely isn’t the baby that I had 2 days ago or even yesterday morning. It all came on SO fast. Kennedy was a trooper. During the whole episode she just cried, “I don’t want baby Nathan to die!” She was really great as everyone took their first ambulance ride (all except Brian who was still at work…I didn’t call him until we were already in the ambulance). When the paramedics arrived Kennedy darted off to her bedroom and tucked herself in a corner with a book. Bless her heart she was so brave. Needless to say, we are all very exhausted and still won’t sleep well tonight just hoping that Nathan does fine. I am grateful for Brian and a willing home teacher who were able to administer a priesthood blessing last night for little Nathan. I am also very thankful that Nathan is still here with us today. We definitely held him a little closer and smooched him a little longer (if that was possible). We have a doctors appointment with the pediatrician in the morning (the soonest they would see us- yes, another frustration) and we hope to have some more answers. Most of all we hope that Nathan is just healthy. Thanks for listening.